What does the first day of therapy feel like?

Context

I had my first therapy session last week. The reason I reached out is because I needed help navigating at work.

While I knew I needed help, I tried my best to "fix" it while simultaneously taking help from a few closed ones - I realised with the help of one of my friends that I could utilise professional help to navigate further and hopefully better at work.

I am writing about this in public to share my reflections — In the hope that this helps someone in need.

Side observation: I love how therapists and counselors have this unsaid rule — if they are not able to help — they always refer someone to you. No one goes without hope, they try their best to help you. I wish people were like that in general. This unsaid morale and ethic is contagious.

Therapy

After the first therapy session, I spoke about this new episode in my life with a school friend. He goes on to ask me - Did it help?

Asking this question is like checking your weight after one day of gym.

The catch is — psychologically you feel fitter when you start working out and plan to continue to do so. That is exactly what it felt like.

Let's deconstruct it further.

Realisations

• I felt lighter.

After the one-hour session, I got up to pack my stuff and realised that something feels lighter. My head, my shoulders, my chest felt relieved — which made me realise that there was something heavy that became a constant I never paid attention to.

• My feelings, thoughts and realisations feel more acknowledged and addressed.

• Action Items in mind.

There is a concept called RCA - Root Cause Analysis in Software Engineering.

I was able to identify and analyse the issue, the potential root cause and probably the solution as well. However, I had difficulty in implementation. I needed refactoring in my belief system.

Now that I am seeking professional help, I feel I have smaller, achievable action items in hand.

• I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Earlier the feelings, the anxiety kept flowing and popping up in my thoughts, potentially triggering me as well.

But now, the idea is that I could conveniently park aside my thoughts — because now I know I plan to address them in therapy.

Fin

This is my first blog after I joined full-time. It has been so difficult to manage time and energy.

But gladly, catching up with old friends, journalling my emotions about work, going to Yoga, a little untangling of thoughts and writing this blog — this is what the first week after therapy looked like.

The conclusion contrasts with the introductory context of this blog — the goal is not to "fix" anything, the goal is to regulate your emotions better.